This week I had the unenviable task of replacing my ID card.  This always involves a long wait (usually in a room filled with angry, depressed people threatening their dribbly-nosed children with bodily harm), a certain amount of mistreatment at the hands of soulless bureaucrats, and a drive far out of one's way, but then it's done for another four years.

I'm convinced there's an inversely-proportional relationship between how often I have to show a photograph and how flattering it's going to be.  This one, which I have to whip out almost daily, is incredibly unflattering.  It's also living proof that losing weight isn't going to magically make a person attractive. 

That said, I swear my hair was just wet -- I don't have a Jheri curl.

Anyways, it's been interesting showing the old card to people all these years.  Only once, ever, has a clerk commented on the fact that I look thinner now than I did when that photo was taken.  A woman I work with saw it and said "hmm, I guess your face looks fuller in photographs."  To me, this would seem to indicate that I don't really look that different to most people than I did when I was fatter ... I guess the invisibility of middle age has taken over where the invisibility of morbid obesity left off?

That's something which a lot of people who are losing weight are concerned about ... when will people notice that I'm getting smaller?  I'm down twenty pounds, why hasn't anyone said anything yet?  I think that people honestly don't give us anywhere near the scrutiny that we give ourselves.  There's also a certain level of discomfort at the idea of discussing someone else's appearance directly.  It's not uncommon for people to hold off until you buy new clothes, as a matter of fact, or ask if you've done something different with your hair rather than mention weight loss specifically.  It's a tricky minefield to maneuver. 

But now I have a new card where I look ... okay, crazed and bedraggled and with odd facial proportions, but also more or less of normal dimensions.  Now I go back from wanting clerks, gate guards and TSA employees to notice I look different, to hoping they'll just wave me on through without giving it much of a look.  Just like a regular person, right?